innocence

i don’t think i told her much truth.
that is, i don’t think she wanted to know.
honestly, she was innocent
and slow to learn things
about the world.

i remember this one time she
suprised me on the elevator:
the doors shifted open and there she was
like some sort of just-cleaned
animals, straight from the zoo.
the wild in my apartment untamed,
so i took her out for coffee
and we chatted about art
theory and what the fuck were
those impressionist smoking.

when i kissed her goodnight
did she feel my divided loyalties?
i don’t think so, but she should have.
she was so innocent
and so slow to learn things
about me.

i recall after she left thinking how
maybe i did love her after all.
but i’ve never been able to
stick with any one thing:
my waywardness has lost me
many decent pets.

even now i divide my time between
loving her and hating her.
she was a good lover,
almost always faithful.
honestly. but we were both
so innocent and slow
to learn things about eachother